STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Damn victory sex feels great
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
