Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
