I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
