she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
