So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
