She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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