so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
