You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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