So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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