If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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