i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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