He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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