I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He better not be in your backpack
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
