My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
love makes seman taste better
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize