The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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