You can't motorboat a personality
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
