covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
