I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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