So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
