i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just want to make out with him forever
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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