Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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