ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
