Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize