Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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