I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
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