i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
