you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
