If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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