That's intense
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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