when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize