that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
