I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
