cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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