i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
