apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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