he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
