Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
