Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
