Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I stole a fireplace last night.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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