Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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