i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
