So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize