I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
These tits shall not be calmed
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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