I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
