He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
