So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
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