I hate all girls vehemently.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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