When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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