you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
