He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
