is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
