waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
