I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
