So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
