dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize