I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
