Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
