I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
