She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
