My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize