Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
