I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
