i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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