so that wasnt chicken after all
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
