Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
