Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
