True but thats because hes a fetus.
Jerry, you need to find god
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
