for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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