1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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