Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
