It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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