Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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