If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
