At least make sure they are 18
Why
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
